Sometimes you have to let go of
in order to fly.
I talk a lot about nutrition and holistic health but what really juices me is what it means to have a healthy home environment, unbelievable relationships, a career that you go to bed dreaming about and wake up living, and making sure you show up as the best version of yourself you can possibly be every single day of your life.
There was a time not long ago when I thought I had it all figured out.
MY STORY IS PERHAPS NOT UNLIKE SOME OF YOURS. I AIMED FOR WONDER WOMAN STATUSAND THOUGHT I COULD DO IT ALL AND BE IT ALL. AND I DID …
Until, having stopped listening to what my soul was telling me, everything inside me finally said “enough.”
Does this sound familiar to you?
DEEP INHALE … MY DAYS USED TO LOOK LIKE THIS …
- Most days I woke up at 5:30 a.m. to run for an hour.
- Then I went quickly into high gear and within the next few hours
- I had made the family breakfast, packed lunches, prepped dinner, and got the kids off to school.
- I then practiced yoga and quickly took a shower to get ready for work.
- And of course I could never leave the house as is, looking like someone actually lived in it (!), so before I headed out the door, the house was always magazine-shoot ready.
MORE INHALING …
- At work each day, I saw 3-4 private clients, taught 2-3 classes, and in between returned 100+ e-mails while managing a staff of 30 people.
KEEP INHALING …
- Back at home after work, I cooked dinner, picked up the house (again), bathed the kids, and got back on my computer until 11 p.m. to catch up and prepare for the next day.
HAS ANYONE SAID EXHALE YET? …
- Then I’d collapse. That is, until I had to start that exhausting routine all over again six hours later.
Looking back at how I lived this way, it gives me an anxiety attack just thinking about it. When did I fit in running errands, relaxing, socializing, or fun?
You see, I thought I was doing everything right.
Yoga. Wouldn’t miss it.
Ambitious career. Yes.
There for the kids. No doubt.
Healthy diet. Of course.
Gluten free. A must.
Clean house. Always.
Wasn’t this the normal day of a “successful” woman in today’s world?
So whose idea was this woman’s revolution thing anyway? When they said “you can have it all,” did they realize how much all is? When did sleep become negotiable? And “doing nothing” become a sign of failure? When did relaxing and enjoying your husband, community, and friends become rewards instead of necessities? None of us even know what the word “connect” means anymore.
Wonder Woman’s magic lasso forces those bound by it to tell the truth. Well, one day, I found myself tied up in my own lasso and enslaved by my ambitions and perfectionism.
I was forced to re-assess my priorities and re-evaluate my life.
I couldn’t get out of bed because the pain was so bad. I couldn’t stop throwing up. I couldn’t stand up. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t hold my two-year-old. My life essentially stopped.
What I’ve come to understand is that disease originates in four ways: congestion, stagnation, depletion and deficiency.
I was depleted. I was deficient. My body was in stagnation. I was in and out of the hospital several times in just a few weeks, but no one could figure out what was wrong. Some said “irritable bowel syndrome,” others said “inflammatory bowel disease.” I was put on medication to stop the nausea and the pain. However, I felt there had to be a better solution and knew within me that I had done this to myself. I said, “Up yours, diagnosis” and got honest with myself.
What was wrong with me was that I hadn’t allowed myself to stop moving. There was no time in my schedule for the slightest pause. My sympathetic nervous system had gone haywire, and my body was living in a constant state of fight or flight. The scariest part was that I didn’t know differently. I was so used to it that I called it normal.
THANKFULLY OUR BODIES ARE DESIGNED TO BE SMARTER THAN OUR STUBBORN MINDS AND WILL FORCE US STOP.
I had no choice but to take a few months off. During that time I couldn’t even get out of my pajamas until 10 a.m. I couldn’t imagine how I managed my chaotic schedule before. I went inward. I spent hours every week shopping for the nourishing food. I read book after book about eating plant-based foods, raw foods, and juicing. I was healed back to health through eating real, whole, organic foods, mindfully practicing yoga, and connecting to who I really was again. No longer bound by the titles of mother, wife, daughter, manager, teacher, or athlete.
I let go of being perfect.
All these expectations and roles I had given myself in order to find a place in this world and have it all. This slowing down enabled me to really connect with my true vision and become so much better than perfect.
My life is different now.
I’ve had to let go of the story about who I thought I was in order to find the person I really wanted to be. I had to let go of the visions and ideals I was holding onto that I believed defined me at the moment.
But am I healthier? No doubt. Am I happier? More than I’ve ever been.
I know there are so many of you who feel the same way.
Life is not an ever-growing checklist. It is for living. It’s not linear. It ebbs and flows, it cycles daily, monthly, yearly, and through the constant shifts of life. It is our responsibility to let go and allow for these shifts to happen.
THE RESULT BECOMES AN OPENING, NOT A BLOCKING. INSTEAD OF STAGNATING, DEPLETING, AND CONGESTING, IN A HEALTHY WAY, WE CAN MOVE THROUGH SEASONS OF STRENGTHENING, TIMES THAT REQUIRE INTENSE NOURISHING, AND CAN CONTINUE TO GROW THROUGH CONSTANT EVOLUTION OF WHO WE ARE TO ALL WE CAN BECOME.
- I call myself a vegan but I still eat honey.
- I can’t dance. I only participate in sports that allow me to move in the same direction.
- I have ugly feet. I kid you not.
- I’m a Taurus – sign of the Bull – in every way imaginable.
- I used to be an attorney. Can you imagine!
- I make my bed every morning.
- Hello my name is Hayley Hobson and I used to be a sugar junkie.
- My husband teases me for being addicted to Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, Private Practice and Nashville. I tell him he’s missing out.